St. Paddy's Day Tradition: A Drunk Driving Test Police Want You to Fail

I’m a notoriously cautious driver: I didn’t get behind the wheel until after my 19th birthday and it took several tries to pass my driver's license test. And I'm the last person to get behind the wheel after a night of drinking. Sure, I’ll drive after a beer, maybe two, but more? Never.

That was the case, until local California Highway Patrol officers put me to the test — part of a tradition this time of year. Infineon Raceway’s St. Patrick’s Day Sobriety Challenge provides a tantalizing opportunity to examine the “what-ifs” of less-than-sober driving without endangering myself or others.

The premise is simple: Instructors from the Jim Russell Race Drivers School set up a race course to test reflexes, response time and accuracy. Participants – including media affiliates, civilians and officials drive the course twice – once sober and once after a few drinks.

Check for an extended video of the event, coming later this evening.

Just “a few” drinks

Depending on their size and alcohol tolerance, participants in the St. Patrick’s Day challenge are asked to drink from one to three beverages – not enough to break the legal limit, but still enough, CHP officials say, to impair driving.

"Our goal is to show that you can have impairment below .08," said Officer Jaret Paulsen of the .

Moreover, having ‘just a few’ drinks is dangerous, said Paulson, because more a person drinks the less accurately he or she can monitor their inebriation.

Holidays and celebratory events increase the likelihood revelers will have a pint and still get behind the wheel.

Nationwide, there were 103 people fatalities from St. Patrick’s Day crashes in 2009, according to the According to the National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration.  Of those crashes, 37 percent of drivers and motorcyclists had a blood alcohol level at or above the legal limit.

See a Patch-curated list of DUI arrests across the North Bay . 

But, I’ve handled a night of drinking in my time – two beers, the amount officers determine will make me an unsafe driver, seems like nothing.

I down a Red Ale from y, then an IPA. I’m ready to race.

Feeling Fine, Toeing the Line

After two beers, my blood alcohol read .06 — technically below the legal limit, but still enough to inhibit your driving abilities and get you in trouble if you’re in an accident, CHP officers said.

Still, I was confident. I went into the first test, maneuvering around a series of S-shaped cones at a high speed, ready to rule the raceway. Sure, I was two beers in, but imbibing just means I was just more relaxed – all the better to beat my first (painfully slow) time.

I set off, accelerate and soar through the cones – pretty pleased with my deft driving prowess, and what I’m sure will be a time improvement.

Turns out I was partially right. I shaved about two seconds off my time, but managed to smack into one of the cones.

“Just be glad it was a cone and not a small animal, or a child,” said Paul Charsley, program logistics manager for the Jim Russell Racing Drivers School.

Charsley told me I did shave about two seconds off my time, but, this proves is the effects of the alcohol: I’m less cautious, hence the quick speeds, and less accurate, as evidenced by my cone sucker-punch.

Test One: Fail.

Test two mimics the actions an experienced driver (read: race car driver) would take if confronted with a sudden obstacle in the center of the road. You accelerate the car, and then swerve to the left or right, as instructed by the Jim Russell Driver, around a series of cones.

This was hard, real hard. I failed the test while sober, knocking over a cone as I made a heavy-handed swerve to the left.

Post-beers, and my last failure, I was cautious. I started the car, accelerated to what felt like a dangerous pace. The instructor yelled "right!" I swerve and stop. All the cones are standing. Success!

But, not really. “You were going less than 30 mph,” the instructor said, “not nearly highway speeds.”

My snail's pace definitely felt like racing. Even though I’ve passed, my perception is off.

Test Two: Pass. Well, kind of.

Test three involves a complicated form of parallel parking: The drivers maneuver an SUV through a series of backwards turns in a cross-shaped grouping of cones.

I shift forward. Crunch. Two cones come down. You can imagine the rest.

Test Three: Epic Fail.

After my poor performance on the tests, CHP officers gave me a final breath test, now that time has passed and the alcohol is completely in my system.

My final reading: .074, just under the legal limit of .08, and the second highest reading of any participant.

Although I’m still technically legal, depending on the speed my body processes the drinks, my blood alcohol level could spike above the .08 mark, according to CHP officer Lisa Paulson.

“Let’s just say I wouldn’t want you to get behind the wheel,” she said.

Two beers were all it took to turn me from a cautious driver into a reckless and sloppy one. And on a celebratory night, two beers is nothing.

So, this St. Patrick’s Day I’ll enjoy the revelry, don a green shirt and drink my Guinness. But at the end of the night, you can find me in a cab.

Sobriety Tips From Napa CHP Officer Jaret Paulson

• Monitor your drinks by volume, not by number. Normal drink sizes: 12 oz. for beer, 4-5 oz. for wine, and 1 oz. for a shot.
• A Long Island Iced Tea is five drinks, not one.
• Keep water in your hand in between drinks. This won’t flush out your system, but it does discourage others from offering you more alcohol.
• It is always safer for designated drivers to stay completely sober.
• If you are pulled over for reckless driving, it doesn’t matter if your blood alcohol reading is under the legal limit – an officer can still determine that you’re driving under the influence based on your actions.