The BEST Exercise. Or, Summer's Coming, is Your Butt Ready?

There’s something magical about that first hint of summer in Marin. It’s happening right about now, isn’t it? After months of cold, grey rain, the sun starts to pop out on the regular, not just once every three weeks. The air warms up, people get nicer, a little more relaxed, and, suddenly, we don’t mind paying a king’s ransom to live in a one-bedroom apartment, because after all, we could be living in Detroit, right?

Mountains, meadows, and shorelines are waiting for us, right in our own backyards, and, all in all, life just seems a little more promising with a healthy dose of Vitamin D, doesn’t it?

So there you are, ready to hit the trails, the beach or happy hour at Marinitas. Obviously, what follows is usually some spandex, or a bathing suit, or that great new pair of jeans that just looked fantastic in the store. One leg after the other, bottoms are on, and you look, and … well, your bottoms are on, but YOUR bottom is turning you off. You could have sworn that the top of your thigh and the bottom of your butt cheek were two separate parts of your body back in September, but May shows that the North and the South have reconciled into one, long, saggy territory of flesh. Bummer.

This is a travesty I see often in my line of work as a fitness professional. But the great thing is that there’s an answer, and it’s doesn’t require surgery, hours of work, creams, jells, suppositories, or equipment of any kind. Further, it’s something that you already do countless times a day. In fact, if you’re sitting down right now as you read this masterpiece of blogging, you’ve used this magic skill to assume that position. That’s right folks. The silver bullet, the holy grail, the king of kings of a nice ass is … wait for it ... The SQUAT!

“Huh. That’s it?” you’re wondering. Yep, that’s it. A solid squat strengthens (think: firms and shapes) the butt, the hamstrings, the quads, the inner thigh area (ladies, you KNOW what I’m talking about here) the back, and, yes, even the abs!

Throw some weight on top of a plain old squat, as in a back squat or overhead squat, and the results are even more impressive. But here’s the thing. Most people don’t know how to squat correctly. And that’s a BIG problem.

You see, the inability to effectively squat not only keeps your butt looking like a sad, saggy mess of custard in a sausage skin, but can also spell knee problems, lower back issues, and even the loss of independence in later life. Think about it. As soon as you lose the ability to get on and off the toilet by yourself, you’re living in an old folk’s home getting your butt wiped by some stranger with bad skin and unkempt fingernails. Sucks to think about, don’t it?

And if you think that I’m just blowing smoke here, and that you have nothing to worry about, I’ve got a test for you. You should be able to sit down in, and stand up from, any elevated surface in your house without using your hands, arms, and throwing your chest forward. That means any chair, bench, or step should be accessible and manageable to your booty, and to your booty exclusively. If you find that you need to use anything but your two feet on the floor to get up, then you MUST begin to squat effectively, like, today. This is the part where you test my theory and realize that your booty ain’t as capable as you thought. Fear not, my friend, for now I will lay down the basics of a good squat.

First things first. Tighten your tummy and keep it tight. When I say this, imagine that I’m getting ready to punch you in the stomach. See that bracing of the abs that you just instinctively did? That’s what I mean when I say “tighten.” Okay, now that your core, or midline, is stable, let’s check in with your feet. They should be slightly outside hip, with toes pointed out about 10 degrees. Legs are straight, with no knee bend, and hips are completely open at the top. So, basically, imagine that your body is like a strong, tall tree ... ommm shakti, shakti.

Anyway, once these things are in place, then you’re ready to squat.

We want the posterior chain to do the work when we squat. The posterior chain, or PS to its friends, is comprised of the calves, butt, hamstrings, and lower back muscles. The problem for a lot of people is that they tend to squat using the wrong parts. Instead of using their butt and hamstrings, they push their knees forward over their toes, using their quads to pull themselves down. Big no-no. Not only will you be missing the point of the squat, which is to make your backside strong, but you will also be well on your way to major knee issues. So let’s do it right by starting like our strong, tall tree with a tight tummy, and focus on showing the world your butt. Seriously. Stick that booty back, like your shutting a car door with your butt. The goal is to get your weight in your heels, essentially “turning on” your posterior body. Keeping the tummy tight and the back straight, push your butt back and down, taking your hips down below your knees while keeping your chest tall. In the beginning, you might not be able to keep your chest tall as you get down low in the squat, and that’s okay. As your core and back strengthen, you’ll be able to squat below 90 degrees without having to lower your chest towards the floor.

Once you’ve reached the bottom of the squat and are ready to come back up to standing, think about driving your heels through the ground, squeezing those butt cheeks tight all the way to the top. The tummy stays tight and the chest stays as tall as possible without taking the back out of a straight position; no hunching or over-extending. This is key. No matter what, you must keep a solid and stable midline with your trunk. You want to keep that back straight the entire time, so squeeze that tummy and protect it!

In the beginning, you might need to use a chair or other surface to be your landing pad as you get your technique dialed in. That’s cool. Eventually, you’ll be able to squat freely without the need for any assistance. And if you feel like you’re going to fall backwards when you’re following these directions, awesome! That means that you’re really getting your weight back into your heels. To counter this, raise your arms up slightly above eye level when you squat, or better yet, do your squats in front of a door frame or a counter, and use that surface as a sort of anchor when you need it.

To get your butt back in fighting form, I’d recommend hitting 40 air squats three to four times a day. I know that that sounds like a lot, but seriously, you can do them anywhere and it’ll take you less than five minutes, so there’s really no excuse. And just as a reminder:

1. Tighten tummy, chest up.
2. Feet slightly outside hip, with toes out about 10 degrees.
3. Push butt back and down, keeping weight in the heels. Shins should stay relatively vertical.
4. Squeeze butt cheeks, letting them pull you down into the bottom of the squat
5. Take hips below knees.
6. To come up, drive the heels through the floor, squeezing your butt all the way to the top.
7. Congratulate yourself on being one step closer to shooting a quarter off your butt, and do another squat!

That’s the basics. I could get more detailed here, but it would be unnecessary for our purposes. Forty air squats three to four times a day and you’ll be looking and feeling fierce all summer, no matter what crazy outfit you decide to throw on. And remember, you squat every time you sit on the throne, so make it count and squeeze that butt!