Water. It's What's For Breakfast.

A couple of years ago, a new client comes to me, almost in tears, and begins to tell me how she’s doing “everything” she’s supposed to be doing in order to lose about 15 pounds. She was training five days a week, getting a good night’s rest, and living pretty much on broccoli and chicken, with nary a grain-based carb passing her lips. She’d had her blood checked, her thyroid inspected, and even had a colon cleansing. “Why isn’t anything changing?” she wailed. “I’m doing everything right, but these last few pounds won’t budge!”

After drying her tears and lovingly wiping the snot from her face, I quietly ask “How much water are you drinking a day?” She looks back at me through red-rimmed eyes and protests “A lot. Like 20 ounces!” After choking on my own tongue, and taking a deep breath, I give her a big hug, look her square in the eye and say, “Oh sweetie. From what you just told me, I’d bet that in addition to those stubborn pounds that won’t move, your skin’s all jacked up, your ankles have turned into cankles, and pardon me for saying it, but you probably haven’t had a good poop in quite some time.” She didn’t have to say a thing, as her face confirmed all the gory details.

You see, folks, without water, you are screwed. Not only would you die without water in less than three days, but every day leading up to your Big Sleep would be marked by water retention, joint pain, tooth decay, dry skin, clogged plumbing, blurred vision, mental confusion…. Oh, and you can forget about being buried in your skinny jeans, because just like my client, you wouldn’t have a shot in hell of losing any weight before the funeral. Hydration is just as important to any weight loss plan as is a proper nutrition and training regimen. You probably knew this, but let’s get into the geeky stuff to drive the point home.

So we can’t discuss weight loss without hearing the word “metabolism” thrown around. The word invokes some sense of primacy, like “Lucky b*$%. She’s got a fast metabolism.” -- as if having this magic key opens the door to Skinny Land. But really, metabolism simply refers to the way that your body utilizes energy. When we’re talking about losing fat, we’re talking primarily about the metabolic processes of the liver and kidneys.

Ahhh, the liver. That organ of multi-functionality. Not only is the liver in charge of detoxifying your body of internal and environmental toxins (i.e. that shot of Patron you had last night), but it also aids in nutritional absorption in the intestines, as well as , you guessed it, the conversion or “metabolizing” of carbohydrates and stored fat! Got it? The liver is a prime player in turning that junk on your trunk into a can of whoop-ass while keeping your brain sharp. We heart the liver.

But let’s also give a little love to the kidneys. These bean-shaped organs remove waste from the body, release hormones that regulate blood pressure, and control the production of red blood cells -- to name but a few of its wonders.

So, what’s all this got to do with water and weight loss? Well, the kidneys require many things to do their job, but water is the crucial, numero uno element that the kidneys need to function properly. If the kidneys aren’t properly hydrated, the liver, being the good friend that it is, will prioritize. Coming to the aid of the kidneys, detoxing your body and keeping blood pressure stable, takes priority over your vanity about your ass, so the liver will stop working on that little project, and will pick up the slack for its kidney friends in order to insure that you don’t go into a coma. You’ll live at severely dehydrated levels, but you’ll still be fat, no matter how many hours you spend doing “cardio.”

Getting back to my client -- suffice it to say that she was educated on the amount of water that is required to not only lose fat, but function at normal levels. Twenty ounces a day and you’re like the walking fat dead. Shoot for 80 to 100 ounces and you’re money. And this “water for breakfast” crazy talk? One of the best ways to kick start your metabolism and get you well on your way to those 80-100 ounces, is to start each morning with a giant glass of H2O, before breakfast. Find a 20 ounce cup or mug and commit to filling it up (and drinking from it!) four to five times a day.  

People’s eyes tend to bulge when I say this, and they instinctively cross their legs and hold their crotches like five-year-olds saying, “I’m gonna be peeing all day drinking like that! I can’t be getting up from my desk (or leaving my kids, or getting out of the car) every 15 minutes!”

I get that. And the reality is that when you start hydrating to normal levels after being severely dehydrated for an extended period of time, you body will start flushing out the water it’s been holding on to during your self-imposed drought. So all the bloat from around your mid-section and your joints will begin to get excreted quickly, making you a pee machine. But after a few days, after things have gotten balanced out, your body won’t be holding onto every drop of water (“my precious!”) you consume, so your peeing times will return to normal, you’ll be “regular,” your skin will be clearer, your mind will be sharper, your clothes will be looser and, with a solid nutrition and training program, you’ll see your tummy muscles a little more clearly.

"But isn't this just a loss in water weight?" you're wondering. Yes, the initial weight loss you'll see on the scale will be "water weight," but over time, with regular hydration, the liver will be able to get back to doing its job as the "fat buster" getting you into the shape you want. And for my money, any weight loss is worth the effort, even if in the beginning it's just nasty, old retained water weight loss. Your clothes won't know the difference between water and fat loss in the beginning,  and neither will your bed partner. But rest assured that the water loss will turn into fat loss if you keep on downing the agua. So if you’re serious about losing fat, you must drink up!